Hi all....i guess it's not too late to wish u all a very Happy New Year, hope everything great will come to us this year... =)

i've been busy with work and a roller-coaster life lately. it seems that i'm now having an insomnia and can't really sleep properly until 4 or 5 in the morning.... i don't know, maybe too much thinking and worrying...or maybe becoz of that "Brothers & Sisters season 1" rerun on Astro, everyday, 3-4 am in th morning...hehe...

okayyy....

i used to think that i'm some kind of iconoclast, iconoclastic or whatever...means that i'm not into ancient culture (especially in Adat Perpatih, as i came from Negeri Sembilan - negeri beradat). i'm not really understand why people willing to still obey with all the customs and i saw one, complicated customs, during my aunt's wedding, 8 years ago.

Tok kadi, saksi & relatives all ready to start the nikah ceremony but becoz my late grandfather was a Datuk Panglima Dalam in Luak Rembau, we all have to wait for Datuk Undang Luak Rembau so that he can give his bless to that ceremony. Sounds simple but when he arrived, my uncle (my mother's brother) and my late father had to find some plain white & yellow clothes, rice and some other stuff that i can't remember. And, i didn't get the opportunity to see what exactly happen during that blessing ceremony until finally my aunt officially married in Islam customs.

After seeing all that, i've vowed to myself that i'm not going to do any complicated thing for my nikah ceremony (no adat luak, no throwing weird stuffs, etc) becoz First: my grandfather no longer with us...Al-Fatihah to him. Second: i don't feel the need to do that.

But...suddenly changed after my mom & relatives told me about the death of our Yang DiPertuan Besar, Tuanku Ja'afar, last week. They tried to beg me to join to the permakaman ceremony as i'm one of the members of suku. i'm not that very important person in this suku and for my Luak Johol, i'm just nobody so i don't have the urge to go. Plus...i've to work on that day...

But...some part of me really wanted to go, wanted to be a part of it. i felt the sadness of losing our Yang DiPertuan Besar and surprisingly, my cousin (Suhaila) felt it too and willingly to share it with me. i watched the whole permakaman ceremony on TV1, from Balai Istana until the royal families reciting doa and pouring water and flowers. Again, i'm trying to understand my own culture, my own tradition. i even discussed it later with Hafiz, my mom & my grandma. Suddenly i felt that i'm part of this culture, this customs and all the complicated things. i dun know...maybe becoz of the age, i can think rationally now, more clearly.

Owh...just one thing for sure. i'm still keeping my vows, though. i'm not going to do any complicated things for my nikah ceremony. i just want to keep it nice and simple. With families, relatives & friends. That's all i need.

FAizAH 'KiMi' MOhaMeD at 1:49 PM | Comments

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